proclamation: I have spent way too much time and money at ikea. fucking scandic bastards.
they sell hope. hope that this 79 dollar modular dresser will solve my clutter problem, solve my laundry problem, solve my diet coke problem. those sweeds are all blond and tall and happy. i am none of those things.
but alas it’s all a pipedream. by the time they’ve milked me for 3 extra hours, and 10 extra bucks on 1 dollar pretzels and frozen yogurt when we get to the door, it’s obvious that i’ve been had.
by the time you lug that flat box weighting 75 pounds to the fucking house, and open it up and extract the pictorial directions. you realize you’ve been totally had.
sweet revenge is busting out the bosch power driver with a hex bit and fucking going to town on those screws. nothing like cold german precision to bring you back to life.
well at least until i get the amex bill.
and how are all of you?
2 responses so far ↓
1 rud // Jan 22, 2008 at 7:13 pm
This read like a coursing section of “le bateau ivre,” with you as a maniacally Bosch-drill wielding Rimbaud.
Froth at the mouth, little jefke, froth away!
2 Natty // Jan 23, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Hmm, I thought you liked the storage for Nathan’s toys. You’re never happy