Jefke.com

it’s hot, it’s humid. it sucks. i think it’s bee well established that i am not a big fan of summer and this is the worst part of it, in my opinion. 99 today, they say- heat index of 106 or some shit. that’s just not right. as a result i am wearing a short sleeve polo shirt. literally, it’s made by polo, my mom buys them for me. i’m sure it’s based on some hope that i’ll still end up preppy. i hate it. it has those little bands around the arms. given my GUNS they are tight. ok well they’re not tight, but they’re annoying.

i guess i’m lucky in that the only time i’m not in A/C is the walk from the car to the train station, from train to station in DC, on the the metro plaform (they’re sorta air conditioned) and then the walk to the office. though yesterday i had to stand on the train home, and the spot in the car where i was standing was not in the airflow of the AC, it was pretty fucking terrible.

yeah so that’s that. another month and it’ll cool of.

yesterday i harvested my first zucchini from my fledgling vegetable garden. we’ve had pretty good luck with our tomatoes this year. on a whim i planted a pumpkin, watermelon, honey dew, squash and zucchini plants in what should have been the space that just the pumpkin needs. so far we have one big ass pumpkin that is already orange. all the vines are all mixed up, i’ll be surprised if we get anything else. henry has also done a number on the middle of the pumpkin plant. fucking bastard. anyway, for years i maintained that there was no point in growing your own food. i’m actually enjoying it. next year i’m gonna establish an official garden area, and put in some real fencing to keep henry and the rats out. yeah, my life is this exciting.

so i think i’m completely apple challenges. for the life of me i can never get itunes to do what i want. for the boy’s birthday, i created a playlist. i then wanted to put back on my standard commuting late 80’s and 90’s hardcore playlist. for some reason it wanted to put on every song i have on my ipod, which doesn’t have enough space, so it wouldn’t do anything at all. the fucker. after a fair amount of back and forth, i got songs on the fucking ipod, but not the exact songs i wanted. well anyway.

so there are some songs on there that i didn’t have on there before. some how danzig’s first album is on there (you know the one with mother and twist of cain). so i’m going down the escalator the other day and the song ’soul on fire’ comes on. i’m pretty sure it’s been 10 years since i heard it (why did i put it in to itunes you ask? i don’t remember)

so suddenly, the song triggered a series of memories from the summer between my junior and senior years of high school. it was pretty fucking amazing. the story goes like this:

so i always hung out on periphery of several different groups, until my senior year when i sorta settled in with my friends that i carried through college. i’d hang out some skaters, even though i was completely terrible at it, we had a little skate rock band that was oddly well accepted. but that’s not the point. so one night, during the summer, i was with some friends and a younger guy’s house. he went on to be a pro snowboarder actually.  but anyway, he had a mini half pipe and a trapoline and shit. so the others would skate, and i man the boom box and such. well at one point i tried to learn to drop in, but it was a miserable failure. i digress.

this guy’s mom was a nurse, and she’d work the night shift. his parents were divorced and his dad lived in another part of the state (i think) so there was no direct adult supervision (can you imagine?–this was before i drank. actually, more importantly–can you imagine me before i drank?)

on this particular night, 3 sophomore girls came by his house. i can’t remember why, but they did. normally, having to be around a girl would have made me roll up in to a ball and cry, but i guess because they were younger, i had some sort of false confidence, or something. i don’t remember the ins and outs of it, but at some point, i ended up on the deck of the ramp, with one of the girls, a semi notoriously slutty girl (well a kissing slut, she didn’t bang), alone. next thing i know, we’re making out. (sorry natty). so we do that for a while, and then she asks me to drive her home. (!!) so i go to take her home, and she suggests we stop off at this little park/field near her house (awww yea!)

so we do, and i lay down my leather jacket (rock!) and we make out a bit more. so she stops at one point, and says

her: you’re a singer for your band, right?
me: -yeah

her: well sing me something
me: -what???

her: sing me something, i’ll like it
me: –uh what do you want me to sing?

her: i dunno something, something sexy
me: (!!!!!)

so how fast can a 17 year old male’s brain recall lyrics for songs when he perceives (wrongly) that sex is a strong possibilty?

well, basically none. my mind was going in like 900 directions, my heart was pounding. it was incredible and terrible at the same time.

the final answer: that danzig song.

so lying there on my leather jacket, with a 15 yr old girl, in a field, thinking i’m about to get laid, i start singing ‘soul on fire‘

i think i even realized at the time how redicoulous the whole thing was–but i did it.

–right. so lets take a moment to describe this young woman. her name was ashley. she was cute, although chunky she has a very scratchy voice, she acted very very very ditzy most of th time. (i think she was a genius though) it was rumored that her older sister slept with the entire football team in a huge gang bang and then went on to be a porn star (unsubstantiated). most importanly: ashley has incredibly huge (well relatively) breasts.

so i finish singing.

she lifts her shirt, and i swear, flicked the front closure of her bra, causing the thing spring open like a fucking trap or something. i was then instructed to pay attention to the monsters she had unleashed. i swear it was straight out of a jon hughes film.

however, i think she had a stop watch or something. i was given like 5 mins. and then they were taken away and she had to get home before curfew. we hung out one other night about a week later. it was pretty much more of the same, sans singing (thank god). the only other contact i had with here was about 4 months later, when she came up to me drunk (her now me!) at a football game (what the hell was i doing at a football game???) and groaped me in front of a recently ex-girlfriend.  sending that ex in to a fit of hysterics (yeah, like wasn’t a rocker heartbreaker)

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So all of this comes flooding back to me in the first 2 seconds of that song.
on the escalator.
in union station.
in DC.
fucking ipod.