apparently there is a species of african rats that are running crazy wild in florida. the fuckers get up to 9 pounds
9 pounds! i suppose it’s not surprising as florida is pretty much the gateway to hell, kinda like in doom, as far as i’m concerned–anyway the offer stands, henry and I could be there in about 4 hrs
in other henry news–he got a blackbird the other day, first kill of the season. he was pretty happy with himself, per usual. natty had to dispose of the remains.
in other rodent news, we have mice living in the stair way to the blair witch cellar, one can only assume that they’re living in the cellar itself as well. i put out some of my beloved t-rex traps, but the fuckers simply ate the peanut butter off the trap (they’re too light to set it off). i’m not going the poison route again-so i finally went high tech on their asses, behold the ratzapper. will it work? i doubt it, but i’ll try anything.
so i’ve pretty much got my routine with the commute and such. i ride the same train pretty much every day, so i recongize people and shit. i’m a fan of sitting in the first seat the faces the wrong direction in the car (they’re split 50/50) b/c i don’t have to worry about someone reading over my shoulder as i plot to take over the world and shit. the down side of this arrangement is that i’m sitting back to back with the person behind me, which brings me closer to them than i would otherwise be. so last week, i’m sitting, minding my own bidness, when some lady gets on and sits behind me. then she gets on her cell phone. and then i smell the most foul smell in the universe (and i’ve been changing toddler diapers for a while now) it takes me about 2 mins to finally figure out, that the smell is only present right after the woman talks on her phone, then it dissapates, then returns when she starts yammering. i can’t descibe it exactly, but i gagged, i literally gagged a couple times. it then became a battle of wills, could i tough it out, our should i move? finally she lost her connection and could finish her call. as we pulled in to union station, i saw that she was actually leaning in to the window, i guess to deflect the noise, but instean her fucking ass mouth was boucing around and hitting me. fucking vile.
i haven’t enountered this anywhere else-but on this commute, people sure do love to walk and read at the same time, especially on the very crowded train platform from the train to the station. it drives me fucking crazy. you just had an hour to read fucknutz, is it really essential that you walk at 1/4 speed now, with you nose in your blackberry or newspaper, it’s a shame that there are always trains on both sides of the platform, i’m itching ot just bump some one off it on to the tracks. but i digress
almost as good as the walk/readers are the people that seem to panic at the end of an escalator. i dunno if it’s the amazing technology of the stairs folding flat, or the fear that they’ll be sucked underneath and shredded like pepper jack, but a lot of people just get to the end, and lock up—and when they make the leap back to solid, non moving ground, it’s liek they forgot they need to locomote themselves out of the fucking way. there’ snothing like having a 300 pound wall of sweaty, hip pack wearing nebraskan tourist stop dead in front of you as your being moved toward them and pushed by a k-street power broker behind you. good times.
for our few years in nyc, i guess i didn’t really see tourists much, now i see them all the time, and man, i hate our country. i won’t dwell on this, but man, seriously they say 62 % of the US is over weight. seemsmore like 98%. we’re introuble people, big trouble.
ok one last thing.
I have oft spoken about the native element of our area of bawlmer-and how our area is being converted to a hipster and yuppie haven. well, all the rif raf seems to end up wandering up and down 2 or 3 blocks of 2 main streets in teh area, one of which i take home from the trainstation. i dunno if they’re methheads, junkies, alchies or what, but there are like 8 or 10 i see all the time and recognize- (quick aside, these people have fabulous tans-i guess trying ot score your next fix all day keeps you out in the sun a lot). I don’t think they’re homeless per se, perhaps they live in shelters at night, i dunno. don’t really care, but so the other day i’m heading home, and see this woman on the corner, looking around scanning traffic. at first i think “she’s waiting for the bus” then as i get closer, i notice she’s got the err, “i’ve fighting some demons” air about her. so i start wondering, “oh is she a whore?” so i’m litterally thinking this as i’m drving by her, and she sees me looking and gives me this “aww yeah honey” look and a smile and does some sort of hand gesture/signal.
for my part, i immediately burst out laughing. not sure why, but the whole scene was just too funny.
dunny thought i’s mention that.
have a good weekend kids