Jefke.com

really, i deal with too much shit. and not static, or hassel or whatever (though there is a lot of that), i mean crap, shit, feces, poop. between the cat boxes, henry’s little gifts in the back yard, and the captain’s new ‘once a week super poop’ this is getting old (or as i typo’d, gettin gold). and i don’t even have the worst of it. natty deals wiht the captain 99% of his pooping activities. I got called in on a ’situation’ on saturday that well, is gonna stick with me for a long, long time. ick.

so it’s spring time at the fort and that means 2 things–farmer’s tan and mulch, well and lawn boobs (can’t find the post!)

right so the patio should have been done on monday but things didin’t work out.. the rain whatever blah blah, — so they make a plan to come on wednesday…and they do, but can’t finish b/c things good to slowly and the guys’ couldn’t get the pattern to match the sample (cna’t fault them, it’s bascially the reason i didn’t try to do this myself), so plans are made to come back yesterday…ok great.

so jefke gets all excited for his new backyard…eventhough there’s a huge pile of dirt in it. but whatever. so on friday i do some calling for my annual mulch load. so with the new planting beds (sorta) on the other fence line as well as henry’s original running track, and the lawn boob and other area’s out front. i figure i need 6 yards of mulch. about double what i’ve gotten in the past. turns out prices have increased alot too, dunno if it’s the hurricanes or what, but this shit ain’t cheep. plus everyone’s taking on fuel surcharges on TOP of delivery charges…but jefke’s on a rampage adn must have his mulch. so i order some up–’he’ll be there between 9-1 on saturday” the woman said. cool.

i get up early get my shit together. the capt woke up very early, so i go upstairs to take him so natty can shower, per the routine…and i see the dump truck pulling up with the mulch (7:45 am). ok better early than never. so i run out, direct teh guy to the right dumping spot in the alley, give him his tip, and boom i’m in business. no build up, no nothing.

so i watch the baby, then head out to get a mulching, first i planted the sage garden per natty’s specifications, then i started on the new ‘planting beds’–which really are not beds at all, i didn’t till them or anyting, i’m just dumping mulch on the dirt. fuck it. i’ll add compost when i plant shit. i also didn’t edge them. frankly it’s too much work and doens’t look that good anyway. well i should say i didn’t put in any formal edging. what i’m gonna do is trench the fuckers with this when it arrives. life’s too short to be jumping up and down on a shovel in the morning sun. this thing should chew up a 1 inch trench or so. that’s good enough for me.

so i made good time, i filled in teh new planting beds surrounding the patio, and got almost all teh way around the back. i was pretty happy with myself. the first thing natty said when she came out with the post nap captain was “you didn’t put in sunscreen, did you” and in fact i had not. my neck was lobster boy red. as was the upper part of my right arm. right up to the sleeve of tshirt. ah spring.

sat. afternoon, we headed to re opened grcery store around the corner. naturally it was packed and people were cutting eachother off and getting all pissy with each other. the trip was pretty uneventful except for weird people keep asking natty about our baby sling
one lady seemed like was trying to be all nice and all, but pretty much just freaked us out. then in line a girl, i’m pretty sure a student at hopkins was all “wow, when i was in europe i saw all sorts of african women with their babies in things like that…so practical” i dunno her tone made is sound like we were really a cut above all the other natives in our use of the baby sling. again i’m sure she was just being nice, but i dunno, i hate people i guess is what i’m trying to say.

Sunday, the patio guys rolled in around noon and set to work. they were making pretty good progress until about 3:30 or so, when they seemed to have run out of one of the sizes of bricks. and it wasn’t liek they were just a few short, the were like 100 short, according to their calculations. we all had theories as to why…maybe the lady at the supplier ordered the wrong shit, maybe they packed it wrong at the factory…regardless, the patio was not getting done until they could call someone and see what was what. so another day…patioless. sob. sob.

got a call today from the main patio guy, turns out that in spite of the fact that the manufacturer posts up patterns for how to lay the pavers, what they really mean is:

here’s a pattern, but don’t follow it, b/c you’ll run out of the 3×6’s–just put the pavers in whatever random order you want–not in the pattern that is shown here, on this pattern worksheet we suggest that you view–remember, it’s random, so definetly dont’ look at or follow this pattern, b/c really it’s random. No not random like our random pattern–funny that’s an oxymoron isnt’ it, a random pattern –definetly don’t look at that pattern for any clarification b/c it’s not really a pattern, it’s random.

so anyway, the guys will be back today, to prolly tear up what they’ve done and do it over again. good times. good time.s

so that’s the recap.