to be sung to the tune of last night a dj saved my life.
ah what a weekend.
Saturday it rained all day so we got together with the kitchens and went out to dinner. it was fun. not much to report other than don getting bbq sauce and rib bits all over his face whilst eating his rack o ribs.
Sunday however, was sunny–chilly at first, but bright and sunny. i resolved that i was gonna get the stupid stairs on the landing out side the backdoor or kill myself trying. so i got up early, planned my attack, helped out until the capt was ready for his morning nap and then tried to get to work. well except for i was trying to dismantle one side of a deck, and install stairs, without sawing, hammering, or making any noise that would wake up the captain. such is life with a baby in the house. oh yeah? you wait until you have kids, then we’ll see if you try to be quiet.
i was able to lift up the concrete and put in the 4×4 that the stair stingers rest on, i then started trying to measure out the placement of the stair stringer holder thingys on the side of the deck. i guess it was good that i had 2 hrs to kill, b/c it took me pretty much that long to figure out who to space everything.
once the capt was awake i got out of stealth mode and started to attack the 4×4 post from the railing. what i didn’t plan on, was the bolts attaching said post to the main deck breaking apart as I took them out. just snapped right off. in the middle. half out. half in. no combination of crowbar, sledgehammer, or tears would get the fucking post off. so i took it up a level, and busted out the sawzall. 4.5 mins later (and it could have been 1 min if knew where to cut), the post was off.
I set about attaching the stringers and then cutting and installing the planks for the steps themselves. it actually went prety well, oh sure i missed a stringer with a screw or 2 and had to redrill and such, but i was cooking for a while there–until i ran out of screws. so i packed up and headed to home depot. got some more screws (and hot dogs from the hotdog cart) then headed back home and finished the stair treads. somehow i miss calculated something b/c the wood i was using for the treads is supposed to fit neatly vertically between the steps. naturally it almost does, but is about 1/4 inches too wide, i’ll have to figure that one out.
finally it was time to cut through the old railing, and thus time for the might sawzall again. i think i like when the sawzall is cutting something solid, not something that jumps around alot, b/c it was like a fucking fist fight with that thing as it pretty much cut thorugh, but also ripped off the railing. i ended up with all my fingers and toes, so i guess i did alright.
so all in all, for an 8 hour project that should have taken oh 2, i’m pretty happy wiht the results. i still need to install the rail, so becareful not to fall off the side…no liabilty! see pics:
so i cleaned up, put all the tools back the blair witch cellar and when to go help natty with the captain. i brought him outside to see teh stairs, and then noticed that the shitty red door to the blair witch basement was open, so i decided to take the capt down there to show him the basement and close the door. as i went down the stairs, i gave a very quick thought to “didn’t the shitty wooden storm door blow shut earli—BAMMM!!” i saw a flash of white light, and in an instant, the capt’s life flashed infront of my eyes—oh he was normal until 4/9/06, when he was whacked on top of the head when his shit for brains father took him to see the totally dangerous basement. after that…he had problems.
i’m not kidding that was the first thing that came to my mind, then well i felt the pain, you see the door had blown shut, on my head. the question was, did it hit the capt. that’s all i cared about. for his part the capt paused about 2 seconds, and then just started screaming/bawling. i flung the stupid ass door open and ran up out of the stairwell toward the house. henry came running he heard the baby crying. I started looking at the baby trying to calm him down and assess if the door had hit him as well. it didn’t–mainly because my full of rocks head was in the way, thank god. he was pretty shook up.
natty came running down stairs when she heard him crying, and he felt better with her–it was then that i throught about my head–it fucking hurt. the door clocked me almost directly on the top of my head, and while i wasn’t cut or bleeding, it felt like i was.
after a few minutes natty got a bag of ice together to keep my head from swelling. what the hell is it that fills up things that swell anyway?–is it blood or what? well anyway i did get a pretty sweet bump on top of my head. and thankfully nothing happened to the captain–but man
afterwards you start playing shit out in your mind, getting into evil what if scenarios. it’s important, but pretty sucky to be reminded of how fucking fragile all this shit is– life i mean.
so i think what prolly saved me from being completely knocked out entirely was the gas ass little button is on top of my work hat, you know, the one that is on top of pretty much every hat–i think that thing actully broke the fall of the door–i can’t be sure, but i’m sure it helped. now if i had been knocked out, i would have either dropped or fallen on the baby. and then we go down the road of how i fucked up the baby with my stupid ass actions.
ugh. so it’s gonna be like this for ever i guess. another fun side benefit of parenthood–and you know that won’t mess me up, since i already don’t worry or anything.
well anyway the stairs are there and henry and i have already had a sit-down session on them. so that i guess it’s worth it.
/end recap