Jefke.com

not it’s not a post about  my sperm, though i reserve the right to post about my swimmers when ever i want.

no no, it’s about this goddamned book that everyone is talking about–further it’s about whether you can ‘enhance’ shit when you’re known for telling everyone that you’re mr. super honest.  like usual i’m about 3 months behind the curve on current events, so well bear with me.

so as i imagine most of you know, this guy james frey wrote a memoir about his life. specifically his being all f’d up on the booze and the crack, and hitting bottom and going to rehab.

i knew nothing of the book, then my good friend seaneke told me to get it and read it. how he found out, i dunno. i then learned it was an oprah book–which turns me off. just the image of oprah in some sort of pj’s reading, well it makes me shudder–i’m getting off topic. so normally i’d blow it off, but the last time sean recommended an oprah book was the corrections, and i fucking loved that. so i ordered the fucking thing from amazon.  this was in early december. turns out that i was pretty much the only and last person that had not read this book, well except for natty.

so the book arrives super fast (thanks trial to amazon prime!). natty said, "oh i saw that on oprah, you should tell sean to get it"–which was funny as sean told me to read it, get it? well anyway, i quickly realized that with my job suddenly requiring me to actually work, and when i’m not working i’m helping with the captain, that i’d never be able to read the book. fuck fuck fuck fuck, i need a drink i need 50 drinks, i thought.

well natty has some time when the capt crashes on her lap, so she started reading it. and she read the shit out of it. i think it took her 3-4 days to finish it. all along she kept saying things like "hmm this guy sorta reminds me of you". which is reassuring when you know the author is writing about himself, and the story is about being an alcoholic and crack addict (for the record i’m real cool i jump on the max (??) i might act crazy but i don’t smoke crack–don’tgimmewahnodon’tgimmewahno crack crack)

but then xmas/new years rolled around and i actually had a couple days off and i started the book.  it was ok. first thing that struck me was that the author was able to write shit like (not an actual quote):

fuck fuck fuck

I need more booze and some crack and gas and cunt and slut fuckity fuck fuck

I spoke

fucktiy fuck cunt whore crack booze drink all the time

and she spoke

cry cry cry why would you be like this cry fuck fuckity mutherfucker

Now i’ve been trying to get away with that sort of thing for 5 fucking years on this website and everyone’s always tooling on my lack of capitalization, and lack of formalized grammar and misspellings (ok he spelled shit right, or at least his editor did). but really, he’s a fucking millionaire for that. i’m not–no fair.

so i tell sean i’m reading the book,  and he too says, ‘oh yeah, you see that similarities between you and him–really you remind me of him"  i’m not sure what to say about that. oh sure i’ve had some rough times with the booze, the sweet sweet elixir of life, but really, i don’t beat people up, and to my knowledge i have never been on a plane in clothing covered with my own snot, piss and vomit. wait, i take that back there was the time when i was 4 and on the way back from california my dad gave me half of an adult tylenol and i puked allover everything. but i wasn’t boozed up then…or was i?

right so last week the smoking gun prints an article that basically shows that mr. frey made up all sorts of shit to make his situation seem a bit more extreme. sean im’s a link to me–says "see i knew it was all to clean". i didn’t read it b/c i hadn’t finished the book. but now i have and i did. and i even watched part of the larry king interview where frey was defending himself (boooring).

so here’s my take:

Bad writer, BAD BAD BAD writer for  making shit up. and BAD for going to a PR damage control spin  meister to have them coach you on saying shit like "there are 18 pages in question out of a 437 page book that’s only 5%" that is the most bullshit stupid ass, faulty pre-war intelligence line i’ve ever heard. the premise of the dispute is the fucking dramatic lynchpin of the whole fucking "memoir". fucker.  shut the fuck up with that shit.

that said. good for you frey. good for you, b/c well you’re career was looking pretty bleak if your only material was recounting what a prick you were when you were fucked up all the time. i think the fabrications show that you can write a good story, certainly something better than your frat boy lifestyle gone bad. so in that sense, i’d actually be willing to read one of your "fiction" books now, b/c before i never would have. nothing worse than someone that is just a fuck up that wrote about being a fuck up then trying to actually make up a real story.

further, hell i read junky when i was in my beat phase in college. and i read naked lunch. (and i also read 2 short novels by Burroughs’s estranged son–yes i admit it i bought them and didn’t notice the .jr next ot the name want’ until i got home and read the first few pages that i knew i was an idiot–all in all not bad actually). back then they didnt’ have memoirs, so authors just changed fucking names and called it a story. From TSG article it seems that frey tried that, and no one would buy the book. so he rewrote it as ‘real’–that’s pretty shady, but fuck it who cares.

what’s really pissing me off is that people are still talking about his. housewives in illinois are suing over it. and that’s just embarrassing. the prairie home companion dood keeps joking about it on the show. what is the world coming too. it wasn’t a history book, it’s not like kids are memorizing this shit, governments aren’t being based on the facts of this chumpass’ life or non life.

which brings it all back to me, the center of the universe–if i hate this big shit storm, why am i adding to it?

because i have nothing else to write about–other than us going back to sears to buy a new dishwasher.

i need a drink-i need 50 drinks. , well you prolly already knew that.