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making the world a bitter place

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what? xmas is THIS weekend?

December 20th, 2005 · 2 Comments

i’ve noticed a pattern, every year they start putting out the xmas shit earlier in the stores, i’m pretty sure they started in august this year, and every year i shake my head over it, and then every year i somehow dont’ pay attention to the whole xmas thing until later than the previous year. so for example i think paniced 2 weeks before xmas last year, this year it’s well–now.  thank god for amazon prime–well i didn’t pay for it, i got a free trail. but i’m milking those people for all the 2 day shipping i can. they’re screwing me right back on the wrapping paper though. bastards. such is life in the internet age. though over all, this year, we have negoiated a no gift giving policy with 60% or so of our relatives. which will help the pocket book–that’s good shit.

in other news teh capt seems to have picked up a virus somehow, prolly from an email or maybe some spyware or something (geek humor courtesy of don). apparenlty he has rotavirus and well he’s shitting all the time it seems. which is interesting b/c i used to think he shit alot before. poor little guy. he’s keeping a stiff upper lip and all that throughout. we’re giving him extra fluids, which is sorta interesting. i picked up some baby gatorade at the store, that shit ain’t cheep, but i imagine people buy it regardless. ut anyway…

so inspried by ACW’s nog adventures i set out last eve to get some of the blessed knob creek to put in some egg nog–you see i’ve never been a fan of the nog, though i’ve drank it anyway. at the compound we always cut it with rum, i dunno why, but that’s what we always did. natty’s mom has this monster egg nog recipe that she makes with lighter fluid (you catch that wawa?) kidding, with straight egg whites and bourbon, i had it once, and well it tasted like eggs and booze. and not in a good way. which is a same as i’m pretty sure the recipe requires a phd to complete. but i digress. i suppose part of it was i haven’t always been on speaking terms with the bourbon–mr daniels and i had a particularly rough evening one thanksgiving back in college. he and i didn’t exchange xmas gifts for years after that.

but that’s all different now–so it dawned on me–sweet nog, lovely knobcreek–how could i go wrong. so a trip to the booze store, then a trip to the local superfresh, which they are remodelling and apparenlty completely reorganizing–in what is as far as i can see, a completely ass backward configuration, but what do i know…, anyway i went into the store to get the nog, i then saw that diet coke ws on super special–so i get that, then i called natty to see if we needed baby wipes–she asked me to get chex mix ingredients, so there was 30 mins running around getting those.

quick aside: at one point i ended up in the prepared food/salad bar area, and there are 2 worker doods, in full carrhart overalls, mixing cement in a wheel barrow and filling up a big whole in the floor. right next to the serve yourself olive bar. i dunno seemed kinda funny–i mean they couldn’t mix it in the storeroom and wheel it out? i’m *sure* no lime dust floated over to the rotisserie chicken or anything. ah well.

so almost 2 hrs later, i got home, it was time to get the xmas shit from the attic as we bought a charlie brown xmas style tree over the weekend. so i was thinking–fire up the nog and trim the tree with my mel torme cd in teh background–well the capt had other plans, his whole wanting to goto sleep after his bath bullshit–little bastard–but i figured i’d hit the nog anyway. now jimmy had warned me about the bourbon nog ratio–it goes from heaven to hell really really quick, so i needed to be very light handed with the booze. bearing this in mind i went with a 1 to 4 part ratio, well i have to admit i never understood 1 to x part ratios and shit, but i went with less than a quarter of booze to the rest of the glass of nog. my intution would have been closer to 50/50, but i was heeding the warning.  put the booze in first, then poured in the nog. i’m not gonna say there was a chemical reaction, but something weird happend. the nog somehow pushed the booze to the top and the whole thing just looked evil. i knew that i had fucked this up–but with booze on the line, was going to try to make the best of it.

a couple stirs and it sort of combined–i took a sip, and well, pretty much though i was gonna puke. so down the drain that went. a sad day and a failed experiment.

but i will overcome, and try again–mark my words.

Tags: jefke's world

2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 rcg // Dec 20, 2005 at 3:59 pm

    The -5 degrees post was sub-par.. but this one more than made up for it. Bravo and merry Chrismukka jefke.

    The festive cocktail of choice here has been a martini-type drink, half vodka, half Quebe ice cider, which I think is cider with the word “ice” in front so people associate it with “ice wine”.

  • 2 anonymouscoworker // Dec 20, 2005 at 4:17 pm

    Damn. Lemme know if you work it out. I’ve never been able to mix nog and booze well.