Jefke.com

you’d think that after missing my return train home last year i’d learn my lesson. well apparently i’m an idiot. because…..no i’m just kidding, i made all my trains without major hiccups, there were, however minor ones.

naturally i waited too long to get my suit on, and naturally the baby woke up and natty needed me to help with him, so i was running around like an fucking idiot before i left the house. good to find out that fat jefke doesn’t fit into some of his dress shirts anymore. you wanna find that out 10 mins before you have to leave (my neck size is bigger?). 

finally i get out the door, and realize i need to clean of the car from a rare snowfall here in teh bawlmer area. ok done. then i head to the train station–there’s the nice windy back road that goes bascially from 3 blocks away from our house to bowels of the trainstation. and it had be close for months. naturally i thought it had be reopened, now that they no longer had the huge ass "detour" sign removed. well that was my bad, as i ended up facing 400 concrete pipe sections, that are prolly part the major project that will tear up our street. ok, time to backtrack, naturally i had no idea where i was. i followed some roads an bascially ended up right next to our house. so there’s 15 mins gone. 

meanwhile i some how chipped an expensive hand painted bowl that natty loves (well, before i left i chipped it). so she called to "ask" how it end up chipped. I liked the feigned curiosity in her voice, as if the captain climbed up in the sink and chipped it. obviously it was me, though i have no recollection of doing it. prolly an unconsious act of violence based on my hatre of farina, which is what natty always uses the bowl for. i dunno why but i fuckign hate that shit, maybe it’s the freaky pic of the kid on the box. maybe it’s the consitency, maybe i t’s the mealy mess it leaves in the sink, i dunno, but i hate it. almost as much as cream of wheat, but anyway, i digress, i didn’t mean to hurt the bowl, honest.

so anyway i got on the highway to get to the trainstation, i then got off the highway, and guessed on how to get to it (i’ve been there like 10 times, i dunno what my problem was). and then made a crazy ass nyc cab driver left turn to get there. great, i rule.  well then i see the parking garage is full. fuck, now what? so i went over this bridge it took the city 8 years to build where i knwo there are parking lots, shady, leave your car in this lot with no attendant and hope you don’t get raped when you come back at night parking lots. but oh well. this one had this fancy system where you pay at this machine, then put a slip on your dash. great, done. then got to the train station, running of course. i never put on a suit and then not have to run somewhere, it’s a law of hte universe.

but naturally teh train was delayed 20 mins. then 30 mins. so of course. no need to run, or rush or any of that. perfect.

so i got on the train- and the ride was uneventful.

i got to penn station, and given my earlier hassles i decided to treat myself to a cab. also i have never used a cab line, so i thought i’d try that. so 20 mins later i was in a cab. in the middle of manhattan, in december, at 6:30 pm. so we moved roughly 8 ft every 10 min.  i did get a nice shot of radio city music hall:

so i got to the party and went in to schooze mode. oddly enough there many people from my old .com company, too many in fact. i had a few drinks, did a little bit of the flimma flamma jib jab b/s’ing. time will tell if i poured it on to thick or not.

so as planned at 9, various people reminded me to get the hell out of there and to the train station, which was a good thing b/c i was about to start in on a full blown ‘remember the dotglory days’ conversation. so i suited up, and left.

oddly enough, it was sorta hard to get a cab on 5th ave at 9 pm on a tuesday, so i kept cycling from corner to corner with my arm sticking up like and ass. finally a blue lincoln towncar stopped and asked where i wanted to go. "how much to penn station?" "10 bucks" good.  so i got in

now in retrospect, i’m lucky i’m not chained to some bed in na basement in washington heights or something. but that never occured to me at the time. the driver was a huge african dood that was talking in some crazy language on his sell phone. his voice was like that guy from teh old 7up commercials. and the language, as near as i could tell was pretty much exactly what i talk when i’m talking to the captain. on top of that, the guy was a fuckign good city driver, i find the car service guys are generally more agressive, b/c they get paid by the job rather than off the meter like cabbies. he was weaving and bobbing and shit all over the place. maybe it was the makers mark, but i sat there with a grin on my face, listenign to the the "glolply gelppel crayalkeeyh thouhthsk tugly" and watching the traffic fly by.  when we got toe the station, i just gave him a twenty and asked what language he was speaking, I swear he said "Mogwai" but that’s from the movie gremlins. natty was quick to call me a drunken idiot, but hell maybe he was, maybe he’s a huge ass gremlin. it was dark out afterall.

so i had about 30 mins to kill before train time. so natually i went for a beer at hoolihans. well first i used the bathroom. which, like last time, almost made me throw up. man penn station bathroom, ick. one guy actually rolled his luggage into there. fucking gross.

so i sat at teh bar and got a beer, and slowly, about 15 guys that must have all been at some sales meeting together all came in. it was weird. i guess the sales thing went well, b/c they were all happy and telling stories of how well it went, how jenkins was gonna sing tomorrow and shit. ah teh business world.

i dunno if you’ve ever been to penn station, but it’s the stupidest layout ever. everyone gathers in this one area, staring at the arrivals/departure board waiting to find out what set of stairs to take to what platform. as it gets closer to a departure time, people jsut bunch up, waiting–when they change the board, they all scramble to the doorway to teh stairs. same thing every tme. very annoying. at any rate i got my seat, and then sat, and sat and sat. i bet we left 15 mins late….sorta poetic given i was 5 mins late last year. but such is life.

when we arrived back in balwmer i actually asked a cop if i was gonna survive the walk back to the car. what was sorta scary was that he didn’t make fun of me, but rather said, "i can’t even gurantee my safety", which warms the heart. but alas, nothing happened and i got home ok.

i then relaxed with henry and enjoyed a beer, in the dark. and went to bed. for 5 hrs till the capt got up.

fun fun.