Jefke.com

ah, the joys of family travel. the bonding of packing bags and loading the car. the lively and interesting conversation on the road, as the miles fly by. the baby screaming in the car seat. the traffic, the assholes in escalades with 22’s that go 120 miles an hour. all good times, really.

so when i left you, i had big plans of being on the road by 2 pm. thus arriving around 6 or 7 i figured. well, naturally that all went to shit. it took an hr to drop the cat off at the vet. and the captain wouldn’t sleep, so one of us had to be with him so we couldn’t pack shit at the same time. we did, though get out of the house by 2:30, and sorta on the highway, and into traffic by 3 or so. as i was loading the cd player with 5 lullaby CD’s, i think i realized that my life really has turned a corner. it’s been a steady slide, really-but i think it’s really changed now.

we made it to deleware before the capt. melted down and needed to eat. i took henry for a walk around the rest stop. i always feel so dorky walking the dog at a rest stop, henry was not very happy in the car, all cramped up next to the captain, having to listen to all of the electronic noisemaking devices we were using to try to get the kid to just go to sleep.  but in the end, he did alright.

so then the rains started in ernest, and well, it sorta sucked. i rained really really hard at some points. i was happy to be in the subie. i could actually feel the allwheeldrive pull me along sometimes, it was cool. i think we made it to mid NJ before we had to stop again, then we hit traffic again, and then…blah blah blah, all in all we rolled in to the compound around 9 or so, i think.

Saturday i was up at the crack of dawn to walk henry. my parent’s don’t have a fence so it’s all walks in the country for henry and i when we visit. it’s actually kinda nice, well when there isn’t a monsoon going on. i actually jogged with him back to the house a couple times. crazy, i know.

so like everyday, all my well laid plans of leaving at a certain time were thrown asunder.  the captain wouldn’t take his bottle so the committee decided that it would be better to bring him to the wedding rather than leave him with my parents. at first i think my mom was disappointed, then she saw the capt. melt down a couple times, and i think it was fine by her that we took him. so we all suited up, and went out in the biblical rains to bklyn.

now there’s nothing like new york city highways and drivers when there’s been 3 inches of rain in 24 hrs. between the people that don’t put their lights on, so you can’t see them. to the flooded roads, so the taxi’s that just don’t give a fuck. it was a white knuckle drive in. at one point, somewhere in the bronx before the triboro bridge, i was changing lanes and a huge wave of water came over the median from the on coming traffic, and i was blinded for a good 4 seconds. "whoa fuck" i exclaimed. ok that’s not that excited.

we arrived at the wedding and got a kick ass parking spot right out in front. natty fed the captain and went in to scout out the situation. wawa was just starting his opening speech, which, i have to say, i gave him his opening line. as i spied around the packed tent/room, i spied some of the heavy hitters of jefke’s blog universe, chris, dens, krucoff it was like battle of the blogwork stars there. wawa was getting some good laughs though i couldn’t really hear what he was saying, so i went back to the car to get the family.

we suited up the capt in his little capt. mobile and made our way back to the festivities. we caught the tail end of the vows and people dispersed. natty had to go to the bathroom and the capt. cried and so i had to pick him up, and then suddenly-i was happy we brought him. you see, i don’t have much to show for myself since the good ole days… oh i don’t mean it like that, but, shit all of a sudden i was holding something that has sorta happened to me. so boom instant conversation piece–it was kinda cool actually. i suddenly felt, uh, fatherly and shit.

the reception was super laid back, so the captain didn’t cause a stir or anything–i headed in to the restaurant to use the little boys room, and ended up getting a drink. then suddenly it seemed as if i was loaded, and the rest of the evening was a blur…talk to this person here. offend krucoff’s girlfriend over there…rock the baby to sleep and feel like superdad over here, get rained on over there. the captain was a hit. i think we should rent him out for parties and appearances. i would have to say that one of the unexpected upsides of having a newborn still has to be watching the effect it has on childless, unmarried couples. only b/c i was there oh. 18 months ago. the woman:"ohhh look at the baby, i want one."  the guy: "uhh, um, hey i need another drink".   

naturally i couldn’t drive, and i suppose i could have been a bit more careful and prolly communicated with natty a bit better that i was getting loaded. but well, um i didn’t. so she got stuck with the drive home. when the time came, i was just in bullshitting mode talking to anyone that would listen. natty swooped in and said it was time to go, she had said the goodbyes and it was time. so i just followed along. at the time, i think i had a little bit of an urge to pee, but hell it’s only an hr and a half back to CT.

well that’s if you don’t have to stop and nurse the baby and change the diaper. so about an hr later, i was in the most pain i’ve ever been in my life. seriously. i tried the undoing of the buckle and shit–i was just trying to make it to the rest stop on 95 in CT. i started biting my knuckles to take my mind off my bladder and kidneys-that didn’t help. changing sitting positions made it worse. it was really really bad, so finally i asked natty to pull over, and there, in the pouring rain, i pissed. and pissed. and pissed. and pissed, and pissed. then, i almost threw up b/c it hurt so much. natty’s convinced that i was just loaded an car sick. and it wasn’t that, i’ve puked from being loaded and carsick before, this was different. so  then i got those post piss shakes, but they were more like convulsions. and ran back to the car. i figured that i was going to get a ticket for public pissing or something, but man it would have been worth it.

naturally we got going again and the rest stop was 2 miles up the road.

we got home around midnight, and i had to take henry out for his walk. so more rain time. at least it wasn’t cold out.  then to sleep, then up at 7 to walk henry again….

and then:

the family portraits

more on that this afternoon.