Jefke.com

….i said that earlier today. the situation was this. i was given charge of the boy, as natty to use the facilities. he had just fallen asleep, when i noticed 2 older african american ladies poking around the corner of our yard. actually i think one was pointing at the no man’s land between our fence and err, the maestro replacement people’s fence. i immediately knew them to be mormons, or latter day saints or some branch of people that feel the need to come and save my eternal soul in the comfort of my own home. i immediately moved the boy to the back/office room and let henry out, as he barks to let us know that he’s heard the front gate open. naturally we hear it too, but he’s just doing his job.  so with the boy by me, and the dog outside in the back, my intent was to lay low until the women left.

upstairs, natty hears someone knocking on the door, and starts yelling "JEEFFFFFF", now i’m trying not to answer b/c i don’t want to tip off the ole ladies that i’m home. natty thinking i don’t hear the knocking keeps telling me to get the door. so i sprint, tippytoed past the front door and run upstairs to the top of the stairs, and semi whisper yell. "shhh it’s the fucking mormons".

only to then notice that the window in the front of the house is open. so they prolly heard, oh well. go do your job somewhere else jeebus lover. plus, if i recall already, didn’t bring’um young say that the list of people getting in to heaven was already written, that’s why the utahians are so obsessed with everyone’s genealogy? oh maybe that was after he dropped the magic glasses, or was that john smith…i forget. anyway, it was an amusing morning.

so after that, the captain suggested that we do a 3 martini lunch…you know to unwind. i admire the kid’s moxie. so i mixed up a batch…i felt pretty good, though i think he’s a bit of a light weight, i guess it’s the liquid diet and all…he ended up like this around 1 pm:

then he was out for a couple minutes and i tried to take his glass away and he got PISSED:

*

ok ok ok, i didn’t give him any booze, actually i didn’t have any either. well i have one now, but it’s cocktail time… yabbadabba do.

so enough foolin’ around, lets get down to bidness.

Right, so when my rents were here last weekend, and watching over the boy, i dropped a couple benadryl to try and control the faucet attached to my face…after breakfast, my dad was scrolling through the dtv guide and found Live and let die, which unbeknowst to me, i had never seen before. this is hands down the strangest bond film, and prolly one of the strangest films i’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something, i’ve actually watched desperate living (remember juan,the speed metal bassist/liquor store employee…he love the john waters–who knew i’d wind up in bawlmer).  anyhoo live and let die…200 blacksploitation actors, a funk ass in movie sound track (not that that lame ass wings title song) and a bit of good ole jamaican voodoo–and to top it off the fucking 7 up guy and the homicide head cop dood.  wow, whataflick. glad to know this was the gestalt i was born into back in ‘73.  fucking weird. maybe it was the antiallergy medicine or something , but it freaked me out.

oh a more serious note, our eldest cat swirlie–who in some senses was natty’s punishment to me for going to belgium to live the phat life of booze women and philosophy, (i suggested that she not get a pet whilst i was a way) has lost a lot of weight since the captain arrived, as she has become particularly fascinated with water…fearing kidney failure i took her to the vet–turns out she has the equivalent of adult on set diabetes, the poor thing. she’s a VT mountain cat so she’s big enough to take out catamounts and shit, and while she has not been overweight in a couple years, she’s dropped from 16 pounds to 13.  thankfully our vet, who is obviously making a mint off of this family, feels that we don’t need to get her on insulin….just some other drug and a change in diet. nevertheless i feel bad for the girl. ’tis a shame.

hmm, better quit while i’m ahead…see ya monday or so.

* props to jimmy for the captain :: king kong bundy connection.