Jefke.com

for whatever reason, i just haven’t been able to get myself to write up my travel post. maybe it’s getting to boring to me (even) i dunno. but i have some time i want to kill before heading to the airport for what is supposed to be the worst day to travel, ever.  oh well, i have my boarding pass printed out already (go continential website) and i’ve got my trial silver ninja elite upgrade which should get me to the short line at the security checkpoint-maybe. so we’ll see.

So lets get down to the basics:
My driver was the same guy that drove me home, er last time i think, mr. o’connor, the funny guy that is a former traffic network guy that lived in Saudi Arabia for 10 years and has a thai wife that he sees every 2 years, or something. it was another pleasant drive, with no talk of drugs–well he made a funny viagra joke (it’s 10% sodium and 90% fixaflat–<rimshot>).

apparently he had been sleeping in his car in front of my house for 45 mins, that’s a bit freaky, and he remembered me and kept calling me by name and such. i dunno, i guess i like to be friendly, but you now, keep my distance a bit.

he told stories of driving around an ex army general that is on CNN all the time, and how the guy complains alot.  he often said bullshit pronounced it "booushit", it was amusing. he just turned 64 last week. his wife doesn’t have a US green card and she was denied entry in to the country when their kid graduated college.

I tipped him and headed into the terminal–i had my boarding pass already so All i had to do is check my bag at the kiosk, which, pretty much takes as long as getting your boarding pass, so i dunno why i bother. i guess i just like the fact that i can print shit out from home.

as i neared the security line, i thought "hmm this doesn’t look so bad’ and then i saw a group of people coming from what i thought was a little spur that had doors to some bathrooms, as i got closer i looked down this hallway, and saw about 200 yards of people waiting to get to the spot where i was….no i never even knew there was hallway there, but there was and it was fully of chumps like me. so i went to the back of the line and passed the time by watching the reactions of the fools that looked down the corridor and discovered a huge ass line, i think they all pretty much same look on their faces, prolly the one that i had as well.

I eventually got up to the maze part of the set up, and then eventually got to a metal detector/xray machine…i was directly behind a trolly/nerdy/ thin hair in pony tail guy that had the biggest laptop i’ve ever seen, not big like old and clunky, but big as in i think it had like a 24 inch screen, it looked huge, and well totally heavy. i’m sure he had just downloaded that bittorrent file of ROTS or whatever before they shut down that site.

I headed to the sam adams bar, which was hoppin and got myself a beer…i paid in cash (which is totally weird for me) and i got change back in nickels…hey when did they change the fucking nickel? they zoomed in on jefferson’s face and but the buffalo’s back on the back…i dunno why it was to strange to me but it sorta freaked me out. they were from 2004, and i’ve never seen one before, nor did i hear anything about the change…weird. at one point the bartender was telling the waitress about the new starburst smoothie drinks that are out. the waitress couldn’t get her head around how they could make a fruit smoothie out of starbursts as they are candy…she wondered if they ‘juiced’ the candies or something. and interesting concept, i suppose–she did say "dos’it taste like cherries?cuz i like cherries." (note: very strange–starburst.com didn’t come up on google, but if access the site directly, i get there.. ..curious)

the flight was uneventful, i didn’t get an upgrade and we waited 20 mins at the gate b/c of a "mechanical issue"…oh well.

my rental this trip is a silver hyundaiiahaia elantra, well i had a choice, i could taken a k-k-k-kia sportage or whatever, but i figured i’d prolly roll an suv, and i’ve rented a kia before and it was the biggest POS, so i took the hyundaiaiaiua instead. all in all it hasn’t been so bad…had a sun roof, it drives sorta like a honda, well a bit squirrely but not too, too bad.

so 2 of my colleagues are out here this time too, my manager and my co-worker that loves to stay out and booze and shit. so the first evening i met her for a drink in the hotel bar–hotel bars are so interesting to me, mainly because it’s interesting to me that local people seem to drive to hotels to drink at the bar…this place also has the lounge singer that comes in on every other Thursday, so we had to hit that and check out the freak show.

last night there was a group of senior citizens in the bar, at one table with one younger couple (40’s i’d say) they were boozin and smoking cigarettes and shit. so the lounge singer guy dropped ‘brickhouse’ but rick james (yeah yeah, bitch, blah blah) they all got up and started to dance. and i mean really dance. it was freaky actually. grandma jammin down to RJ…so after that the singer went into Sex machine by james brown…and most of them sat down but then this one old dood asked my coworker to dance. now she loves that sorta shit so she got up to dance with him…he looked like the clown prince of baseball. so that was sorta strange, but then he got up with another chick for the next song, and was totally squeezing her ass and dirty dancing. so then some guy comes into the bar and goes up to some chick and squeezes her ass. so i’m wondering if this bar isn’t some sort of swinger meet up place, it was just totally weird. i swear there were two cross dressers there too. Akron will be the perfect place for this shit to be happening…it’s totally something you’d see on a 20/20 special or something…"i’m hugh downs…where to senior swingers meet? where do they hook up..what do they like to dance to? we sent john stossil out to find out…dateline…akron OH…"

well kids thanks for listening, i’m gonna pack up and head out and go get in like to have my shoes xray’d and my laptop wiped down for plastic explosive residue…

have a good holiday weekend.