Jefke.com

that’s the number of pounds of shit i hauled and dumped as the, uh dump this weekend. ‘oh you’re making that up, jefke’–am not, i have documentation. that’s 5900 pounds loaded in to the uhaul pickup truck (i’ll get to that in a minute) and 5900 pounds thrown off the uhaul pickup truck at the top of the landfill.

so, in the end, it was a waste of time, money and effort. but oh well, i learned all sortsa shit. like:

uhaul rents pickup trucks, and i like pickups. one sits up high, there are no blind spots, and well, they hold a lot of shit. the best was the huge ass side mirrors, i think i might put them on the mazda mobile, they’re the size of mcdonald’s trays, and you can see everything on each side of the vee-hick-el. it was great

I also learned that the devil is in the details–oh sure it’s 19 bucks to rent the truck–but it’s the 1.19 per mile that gets ‘cha.

i learned that if one is driving a uhaul to the landfill in baltimore, one has to pay to dump their shit, why? well it’s a commercial vehicle–what does that have to do with it? i have no fucking idea. i can tell you this, after loading up a ton, a literal ton of concrete on the fucker, and driving 30 mins to the dump, and the powers that be telling me i would have to pay to dump it, well jefke sorta lost it–and not just on the inside like i usually do–i actually said–”are you fucking kidding me?” and “that’s fucking ridiculous” (i should have done it ‘perfect strangers” style, but that didn’t occur to me at the time. you see, if i owned, or stole or otherwise procured a pickup that didn’t say uhaul on it, all of my hauling would have been free, but because i don’t own such a truck–adn i needed to rent one, well that means i have to pay 67.50/ton to use the land fill. i dunno but this seems like reverse discrimination–i am not WT enough to own a fucking pickup so i have to pay to get rid of my shit. I also pulled the “why the fuck do i pay taxes?” card–none of this stomping my feet and bitching and moaning helped any–of course. but now iknow why people do it–it feels good. so in the end i had to pay. and part of going to the commerical/pay side of the dump, is that you don’t just drive up to some dumpsters and throw your shit in.. oh no—you drive around, or shoud i say on top of the land fill, and you back up , where ever the garbage dwellers tell you, and you just throw your shit off your truck. it was the strangest thing, the road to the top of the hill sort of winded arounds the hill, (the hill i assume is 50 years worth of garbage) and when you reach the top, you just go off roading until you get to the very top–the smell was terrible. the view however was incredible. i could see the bay, downtown, all sortsa shit. there were the obligitory seagulls all over the place, but there were mutant C.H.U.D type seagulls. i swear they were the size of geese and they moved with a eerie sense of purpose. i was pretty sure one would pick me up and fly me away.

on all 3 trips to the top of the pile of shit, i ended up unloading my shit next to a one toothed person. i shit you not. men with 1 front tooth. 3 of them (guys, not teeth). i seriously didn’t know that such people existed anymore. i thought that there was a jimmy carter era law that put and end to such things–like no child left behind, but on the dental front. but seriously–i have never really seen toothless people. it really freaked me out. i mean, i know i don’t come from the mean streets, nor backwoods APaLATCHA (sic) but i mean, i’m fairly worldly, i’ve driven throught arkansas, oklahomia AND tennesse-and i havent’ seen such sites. freaky.

Lets see what else….

oh it’s much harder to break a TV screen than you’d think, it takes several direct hits with chunks of concrete to get a 1980’s style TV screen to crack, and even after that it doesn’t really bust or anything. you see, perhaps the strangest thing about my time at the landfill, is that the shit that gets dumped there is never going togo away–i suppose this should have been obvious to me, given that i was dumping concrete, but it’s jsut weird to see mattresses, tv’s, and the like in a big ass pile, oh sure they mix it with dirt, but this shit is just not gonna go anywhere, it’s not food waste or wood or anything like that– i mean what’s the half life of a TV? 10,000 years? it’s just weird. anyway, my 2nd trip there there were several old TV’s there, and one was in comfortable tossing distance from teh truck and well, i just keep tossing chunks of concrete until it broke. that was sorta fun i guess.

so i’m no expert on trucks, but i don’t think my GMC rental was rated to haul over 2600 pounds in one load. that sucker was makin’ some terrible noises on the way there, i think the tailpipe was rubbing against the bottom of the bed, i dunno. but after the noise started, it didn’t stop, even after the bed was empty. oh well, it was as rental.

i also learned how to use ratchet tie downs. ok, not a big deal, but hell it’s a resume builder

so in the end, i prolly could have had the concrete taken away for less by getting the roll off dumpster–but what would i have learned by doing that? nothing!–er well something i’m sure.

anyway, my back hurts. there are some picks in the moblog..take a looksy