right, so sorry about no post yesterday, i feel all guilty and shit.
no really, i do.
so it was lovely weather in the greater bawlemore region over the weekend, and i decided to put in some shrubs, where there was a pretty much useless concrete sidewalk thingy. Initially i figured that it would be easy to get up the concrete, for i thought it was only about an inch thick or whatever. Well come saturday morn i disovered that it was a full 6 inches or so–way to heavy to pry up with my little pickaxe, unbreakable fiberglass handle notwithstanding. So off to lowes to get a sledgehammer, and one of those huge iron landscape bars that landscapers use for just about everything. while at lowes i noticed that they had the variety of shrub i was hoping to plant, but i held off from buying until i could do some further research–you see, for whatever reason, somewhere i picked up this idea that i’d like to do all our landscaping all eco-friendly and shit, and one of the ecopeople’s recommedations is to use plants and shrubs and trees and shit that are native to the region in which you are planting. The idea, so the theory goes, is to plant a plant that is literally from the region, and thus is well suited and harmonious with the local ecosystem. It is hard to find places that actually “propegate” their own plants, so the second best thing is to plant a variety that is native, but not necessarily a plant from the local area. blah blah blah. so anyway lowes had the plant i have no idea where it’s from, but it’s a native variety.
So i got back to the fort and met one of our neighbors, it turns out that she is a veteran colonizer, and has been on our block, either renting or owning for 13 years, and boy, did she have some “excellent” stories. She led in with how much the area has been changing in the last few years, why when she moved in, they were just getting over the nazi skin head problem that had been an issue for a few years (oh joy). She then waxed about how the house she now owns used to be a herion/crack flop house, complete with idiling cars of suburban and urban junkies and at least one OD death. finally the house next to the one she owns caught fire and in turn the one she now owns caught as well. that apparently drove the druggies away for a while, but then the squatters started living there and, and and….. but that stopped oh at least a couple years ago–” (oh joy)
a couple years?!! i think i would have prefered if she had said, “about 10 years ago”, oh well. Oh and she has some really nice stuff to say about our place… “i walked through right after it was sold from the old lady….it had this….smell to it”. oh hey thanks. a smell, great.
The real fun then began. I don’t know if any of you have had the opportunity to crack some concrete with a sledge, but i highly recommend it. the first couple hits, nothing seems to happen, then a small crack will develop and then at some point one hit makes the whole thing fall apart–it’s fun. no really, i’m being serious, it was fun. then moved the big ass chunks of concrete againt the chain link fence seperating our yard and the maestro’s yard. I was not very happy that there was a good 3 inches of gravel underneath the concrete, but eventually got that out too. Sunday i went back to lowest, got the plants, adn all sorts of mulch and top soil and shit. i planted the fuckers and now we have shrubs..
the end.
actually it looks pretty good. well it will when i get the concrete chuncks out of the yard. After that, i did some basic clean up, and by that i mean i went to the back 40 and picked up the junk that has been thrown in our yard or wsa under the crap that used to be back there. there were some truly strange items.
1) 1970’s wooden Tennis racquet (warped). what is more strange is that i coudl almost swear that it wasn’t there a few weeks ago, and it’s the exact same model i had when i was 7 years old. very weird.
2) huge red hinge, prolly from a tractor trailer or something. not that bizzare but still strange.
3) various turtle related lawn orniments. i guess someone liked the turtles. i’m ok with that.
i’ll put up some pics when i get home tonight.
after all this, i walked to the liquor store all grimy and shit, just to feel like i fit in with the natives. sadly i still stood out. though as i was walking, i did pass a house with 4 ememeeneneme wanna-be’s sitting on the porch, one yelling in to his cell phone, with a truly frightening accent which can only be described as a combination of ballymore/southern/urban hip hop, i think it was the dialect-tic eqivilent of nails on a chalk board. upsetting. really.
9 responses so far ↓
1 B // Mar 30, 2004 at 4:03 pm
Don’t dispose of the concrete blocks too quickly. You might need one of them to make your garden statue, R51.
2 J Sargent // Mar 30, 2004 at 4:12 pm
Man a former crack/heroin neighborhood. Glad to see that Jefke is part of the urban renewal process.
I agree on the sledge and concrete thing. That is truly a theraputic event. Highly recommended as a “once in a while” kind of thing. I woudn’t recommend it as a full time gig however. Although you do get to play with a jackhammer - that always looked like it might be cool for 5 minutes or so. (Reminded of Seinfeld….George and a jackhammer).
JS
3 Natty // Mar 30, 2004 at 5:21 pm
I think people are throwing crap into our yard, perhaps as some sort of protest to our putting up a six foot fence with a lock- now they cannot cut through our yard (hahaha!!). The tennis racket was not always there, niether was any of that other crap, for that matter. Someday we’ll move to a snottier neighborhood and have less of that crap to worry about. We’ll just concern ourselves with whether or not the neighbors will buy the same color Volvo wagon as ours and why we should have to keep paying so many taxes if we don’t even send our children to the public schools. Ah, I can’t wait!
4 jefke // Mar 31, 2004 at 9:08 am
that’s my girl!
5 Wawa // Mar 31, 2004 at 9:41 am
Ya know, my parents still have people cut through their backyard to get to school. I was getting into my car one morning, and a girl walked right past me, without even saying a word! Hey, if you’re going to pass through the garden of Wawa, you should at least acknowledge Wawa! Damn kids!!!!
6 Don // Mar 31, 2004 at 10:11 am
You need to setup traps to capture any lawn intruders and/or trash throwers. I swinging log may eliminate the trash throwers. Some sort of covered pit with sharp wooden stakes at the bottom can help with the intruders.
KILL THEM ALL!
7 jefke // Mar 31, 2004 at 10:28 am
garden of wawa? are you implying she shoudl have given you sex to be able to cut through your parent’s yard?
8 Natty // Mar 31, 2004 at 11:15 am
Don’t call Wawa a pedophile. I think he just meant at least say hello or something if you’re gonna cut through someone’s yard while they’re right there watching you. My question is this…Wawa, did you say anything to the little shit cutting through your yard? I certainly would have. Do you realize that if someone trespassing onto your property injures themselves in the process, you can be held responsible? Time for Wawa to get a fence.
9 Wawa // Mar 31, 2004 at 2:30 pm
Nah . . . it’s not a big deal. I’m just saying they should at least say: “Thanks for letting me cut through your backyard”
If it weren’t for those damn kids, I would have gotten away with it-Any random old man in Scooby Doo