Jefke.com

ah spring,
warmer weather, that smell of musty things decaying. and of course tax time.

oh joy kiddies. right so last year a did a stink as a contract–to–hire situation. i’m sure you remember it, some of my best gin inspired posts were from those days, the not leaving the house for weeks on end. all that stuff. well the consulting group and i parted ways, well when they had no more work for me. it was a amicable separation, inspite of the fact that they weren’t paying me what they said they would, and well there was the whole not really hiring me thing. but water under the bridge i said.

so it comes to tax time. now the company did some slippy slippy semi shady stuff with this whole ‘you’re a contractor, but we’ll withhold tax monies for you as if you’re full time, but we’re not giving you health insurance, that’s for damn sure” shit. i was just happy to have some work. so my accountant guy calls me a bit concerned, apparently not only is it highly irregular for someone to with hold state taxes for a state within which one has not worked, but on top of that, they only witheld like 162 dollars. now i wasnt’ making all that much, but hell, 162 bucks isn’t going to cover my tax obligation…..so i get home look at some old pay stubs, and lo and behold…. the cfo/payroll guy had me at 6 allowances. this will make no sense to people that don’t pay US taxes, but SIX allowances, i believe that level of allowances is reserved for single parents with 23 kids, living in a huge shoe, running a charity organization for reformed crack addicts.

so in the end, i am totally responsible for all the taxes that were not taken out slowly and regularly. now i have to come up with 2 grand the fast and painful way. er, that didn’t come out the right way, er hmm maybe porn isn’t such a bad idea……

so i’m really chipper about that shit.

refinanced the house today it went very smoothly, turns out own mortgage is being sold to the company that had me before. so i have the same people all over again, everyone keeps telling me what a good bank they are and shit… just seems werid that i can go to a broker and get a loan from teh same bank at a lower rate and no points….whereas when i called the bank directly they wanted to charge me more…weird. oh well. i think we’ll have 62 bucks a month… hmm if i apply that to the taxes we owe….it’ll just take 31 months for it to square out.. excellent! great! life rules!

so those of you that are keeping track of such things, and by that i mean….me. the stucco project is a no go for this weekend. repeat, stucco is nogo. no go on the stucco. stucgo on the noco nico waso a addicto… er sorry.
threat of rain. so postponed

but, i will attempt to rip up a minor sidewalk and plant 1, possibly 2 shrubs. the excitement is breathtaking. i know.

i bought a pick axe to accomplish this task, i have to say, of all the yard tools the pick axe is the most kick assed. if i was in the shit, and i needed to grab one lawn/garden tool with which to kick ass, it’d be the pick axe. i’m surprised it hasn’t been featured in fight scenes more, well beyond that climatic showdown between michele pere (of the philidelphia experiment fame) and willem (willam, willum, willow?) dafoe (of chirst wants to bang the whore movie fame) in Streets of fire. what a fucking movie that was–i’d love to hear the pitch at the studio meeting “no no no you’ve got it all wrong, the music is 80’s pop, but the cars, dress, and scenery is all 50’s, er well with a pervasive overcast rain–sorta like blade runner, but no floating advertsing blimp things–we’ll get rick moranis, he’s not doing anything…now that strange brew has run it’s course–what is that ‘cherry’ chick from the outsiders doing….oh oh oh and eddie from eddie and the cruisers…and the black guy from that TV show “the insiders..you know the one with the jerry curl….” (ok the tv show was prolly after)…. i can dream about you, if i can’t hold you toniiiiight….

wtf? how’d i get here?

bartender….check please!