right, ok so i’ve been crazy busy since thursday….here’s what happened:
Friday:
we finally got the insulation put in to the cold wall in the kitchen and upstairs bathroom, I stayed home from work in the morning to over see the whole operation, all in all it went pretty smoothly, the insulation guy and his helper were too funny. i cant believe it’s really done, but it is. and the house is tons warmer already, the plates and pans don’t come out of the cupboards all freezing cold and shit. amazing.
then i was off to lovely downtown ballimere for my company’s annual convention, i won’t bore you with the details, but let me say this, friday nite ended with me taking part in some IT dept vs a bunch of franchisees from michigan sports game challenge. yes, you read that right, i was invoved with something having to do with sports. i ended up having to do this football thing where you try to throw the football though these moing targets that resemble football players. it was a bloodbath. well, in my defense i did have one streak where i got like 5 throws in, co worker don seemed to forget that i was on his team and he just screamed insults and tried to distract me the whole time. thanks for nuthing don!. in the end i got some terrible, embarrassing score of 14 or something (i think most people get over 30) and we lost the challenge and it was a sad sad day for the IT dept. oh well.
Saturday i was up at 6 am with a blazing hangover to get back to the hotel to bascially stand around and do nothing.
then sat nite was the big awards dinner. I had the dubious honor of running the powerpoint presentation during the actual awards-i’m happy to report, that there were no mistakes on my part of the presentation–even with don trying to distract me and flipping me off from the table.
Today was another fun filled morning of getting up at 6, again hungover, and rushing to the hotel to move projectors around and then do nothing, at least i was done by 10:30.
after a little nappy poo, natty and i had some lunch and i headed out to go to shopping to get some supplies for the cats. oh did i formally mention that all 3 of them have had some sort of stomach flu since tuesday? nothing like finding little piles of cat puke all over the place. i love it, i really do.
so after i got back from shopping, i did some more caulking and sealing around the area where the cold air used to be getting in to the house–just for good measure. after finishing up I decided to take a look at rat trap bait station that i had moved from the are of rat bastard’s infultration to the along the fence in the back 40. as i approached, i could no see light coming through the little hole where the rats/other vermin are supposed to enter the bait station…
i swung around for a different angle, and lo and behold, i could see a little lifeless rat foot coming out of the hole. yes that’s right, i got one, i trapped a rat. and by trapped i mean i killed it. well i didn’t, the T-rex super rat snap trap did. so then i was faced wiht that to do with the fucking thing.
first i went and got my work gloves, then i got my dust mask that i used when doing all the insulation stuff. yes, i’m that much of a wimp. since tex the previous owner, just took away all his shovels and shit on friday,( yes just this past friday, after how many months?) i had to resort to our snow shovel.
I made my was back to the bait station, and used the shovel to rotate it so the latch for the lid was towards me. I then unlatched it and used the shovel to open it up.
I have no idea how long this little bastard was out there, it could have been a couple hours, or a couple weeks. but he was most definetly very dead. I could really see if he was stiff and shit, but i could see that the muthafuckign t rex almost chopped his damn head off. badass i tell you badass. with no real way to get the thing out of the bait station, and i’ll be damned if i was gonna try to salvage the t-rex, i lifted the whole bait station and dumped the carcass in the garbage. oh the joy of home ownership.
was it him? what it THE rat bastard? i dunno. prolly not. but there’s one less rat in the back alley way b/c of me. which is kinda weird to think about.
I think i’m going to get poison now this the foundation is more secure. and just let them die back in the comfort of their holes.
8 responses so far ↓
1 Natty // Mar 7, 2004 at 8:05 pm
Don’t use poison, since you can never be sure that other animals won’t get to it. Not that I am in favor of killing the rats, either. I wish we could just herd them up and have them relocate. Did St. Patrick supposedly get rid of snakes and rats or was it just snakes?
2 Don // Mar 8, 2004 at 8:19 am
Go rat hunter go! Are you going to have him mounted in the home office? Or, maybe you could get him turned into some sort of rug or something.
3 rcg // Mar 8, 2004 at 10:16 am
St. Patrick was just snakes as I recall. You may want to take the Pied Piper route (pronounced: “root”), or maybe Pie-eyed Piper: Jefke gets tanked, plugs in the guitar and jam-sessions the rat bastards out of town.
When I was a tree planter in Northern Ontario, we had a bear problem. First, we had a bear rummage through many of our tents. We were led to believe that some hunting specialist from the Ministry of Natural Resources would tranquilize said bear, and then they’d heliport his ass outta there. But then we found out that they just shot him. We ate some of him.
The problem with bears is that you can relocate them, but even if you drop them of 500 clicks away, they’ll find their way back.
Somehow I suspect that merciful rat-control solutions are precisely not solutions. Mind you, killing rats may be no more effective, other than giving Jefke the satisfaction of occasionally seeing some of the buggers dead.
Sorry Natty.
4 jefke // Mar 8, 2004 at 11:09 am
i took very little joy in seeing the semi stiff, contorted carcass of the little fucker. I would much rather put up a cement wall with barbed wire and shit around fort jefke, but alas that would be as much to keep the emememenenemen looking street kids out as much as rat bastard and his bretheren. perhaps more sad is that it would not work, well maybe it’d keep the hoods out but prolly not the rats. The greater problem of ballymore having more rats than NYC (i’m told), makes this bigger than something one jefke with fancy plastic traps and super posions can solve. If i had my way i’d justlike them to go somewhere else, but i don’t want a rat trail of tears on my hands, to be sorted out by my decendents. so we will coexist, however non peacefully.
5 Natty // Mar 8, 2004 at 11:18 am
Don’t forget, it’s Fort Natty and Jefke. Perhaps I will start calling this place Belle Mer, to sound a bit more exotic and desirable. hell, I should go into real estate and market the town that way. we are on the water, afterall. Very adventurous water-taxi rides, too.
6 Cormac // Mar 8, 2004 at 12:59 pm
Get a little .410 shotgun, or if you’re worried about the cops hearing (and want to be sporting to the critters), get a .22.
7 Don // Mar 8, 2004 at 1:06 pm
I’ve been trying to get jefke to purchase some form of firearm, even if it’s just a pellet gun. I’ve had no luck as of yet. What he does not realize is just how fun hunting wabbits (or wats) can be!
8 jefke // Mar 8, 2004 at 3:20 pm
right, the guy that can’t get a fucking football through a 2 foot hole in a slow moving piece of wood is going to whip out a pellet it gun and hit a tiny, fast moving critter at 40 yards?
hmm, I don’t see it happening.