i wish i had been a kid from iowa or kansas or someplace. it would have been much more poetic to get chewed up and spit out by new york. maybe that’s the point–what is the cliche? “the best swimmers always are the ones that drown”, i don’t know. I’ve often said that the people that do well in NYC are the ones that have a purpose, a mission to be there. I never had that, other than not having anyother place to go. Nevertheless it smarts, no one likes to leave because they have to, it’s always better to leave e because they want to. i did that from europe. I was there, i liked it, but it was time to go. and after a year or so, i ended up in NYC. I really did like parts of it. if there had been any reason at all to stay i would have ended up one of the millions that complains about the city compulsively, but would defend it without reserve. At least as i bitched, there were cool things to bitch about, i mean, it’s very different to whine to people about the smell or the heat in the subway than to complain about neighbors that don’t park their IROC’s well. This is important, to go through this, i think. I am realizing what a snot i really am. I mean, while i feel cool to tell people i just moved from NYC–it was infinitely cooler to say “i’m living in NYC”…even if i did hate it…man i dunno.
wallowing? you betcha.
Loser? Yep.
those of you that knew me then, know i was iiiiitchin to get out. i think even then i had the foresight then to admit that i’d be crying to get back later. man. is it just me or is everyone like this? these are my thoughts….